My husband may not be here for the birth of our son and someone recently responded with "I'm sorry". I said, "That's just how it goes". But I've been pondering this for a while and I wish I had a way with words like by husband to convey what I'm thinking, so bear with me.
First off, I'm not sorry. Yes, I would love to have my husband's support during the birth, but knowing that my husband is out there serving our country and keeping us safe makes giving birth to our son more comforting. In Alma 43:45-46 where it is talking about the war between the Nephites and the Lamanites it says
“Nevertheless, the Nephites were inspired by a better cause, for they were not fighting for monarchy nor power but they were fighting for their homes and their liberties, their wives and their children, and their all, yea, for their rites of worship and their church. And they were doing that which they felt was the duty which they owed to their God; for the Lord had said unto them, and also unto their fathers, that: Inasmuch as ye are not guilty of the first offense, neither the second, ye shall not suffer yourselves to be slain by the hands of your enemies."
This is what my husband, along with the other military members, are doing today. So, no I do not feel sorry about possibly giving birth without my husband there nor am I sorry that I will be a solo parent for the first year of our son's life. I know with every part of my being that Brett is doing what the Lord needs him to do and that I'm doing what the Lord needs me to do. He is on our side and has placed people in our path to help, guide, and comfort us. There may be times, no there will be times where I may seem down and standoffish because, well I'm human and some days are just tougher than others. Like I said before, I'm not great with expressing what I'm thinking so please take a moment and read this posting written by another military wife called "What I Wish my Civilian Friends Knew: A Letter from a Military Wife" She talks about what a military spouse needs when his/her other half is away. I especially like the part where she says:
"You should know that I probably won’t ask for much. In fact, you should probably just adopt a “don’t ask, just tell” policy with me. I am coming to watch your kids Monday night. I am coming to mow your lawn next Tuesday. This will be much more effective with me than a blanket “Let me know if you need anything.” Like I said, blame it on Rosie the Riveter or this stubborn pride of mine, but I probably won’t ask you for the help I so desperately need. And if I do, know that it took A LOT for me to get to that point so never make me feel bad about it because I may not ask again. I know the air filter was really dirty and should have been cleaned months ago, but I’m just doing the best that I can, a day at a time."
Please remember that I will do my best to ask for help when I need it, and know that I will accept any help you can give. Most of all please pray for our family. That is what I'm asking am always asking for. Pray for our son to come into this world and grow big and strong like his daddy. Pray for Brett and others with him to be safe and focused on their jobs at hand. Pray that I will have the strength I need to get through each day. Know that I will be praying too.
I'm so grateful for the gospel and the knowledge it brings. I know that no matter what Brett and I will be together for eternity. The Lord is watching over each and every one of us. I know that Jesus Christ has atoned for us and that we will one day return to our Heavenly Father.