My husband may not be here for the birth of our son and someone recently responded with "I'm sorry". I said, "That's just how it goes". But I've been pondering this for a while and I wish I had a way with words like by husband to convey what I'm thinking, so bear with me.
First off, I'm not sorry. Yes, I would love to have my husband's support during the birth, but knowing that my husband is out there serving our country and keeping us safe makes giving birth to our son more comforting. In Alma 43:45-46 where it is talking about the war between the Nephites and the Lamanites it says
“Nevertheless, the Nephites were inspired by a better cause, for they were not fighting for monarchy nor power but they were fighting for their homes and their liberties, their wives and their children, and their all, yea, for their rites of worship and their church. And they were doing that which they felt was the duty which they owed to their God; for the Lord had said unto them, and also unto their fathers, that: Inasmuch as ye are not guilty of the first offense, neither the second, ye shall not suffer yourselves to be slain by the hands of your enemies."
This is what my husband, along with the other military members, are doing today. So, no I do not feel sorry about possibly giving birth without my husband there nor am I sorry that I will be a solo parent for the first year of our son's life. I know with every part of my being that Brett is doing what the Lord needs him to do and that I'm doing what the Lord needs me to do. He is on our side and has placed people in our path to help, guide, and comfort us. There may be times, no there will be times where I may seem down and standoffish because, well I'm human and some days are just tougher than others. Like I said before, I'm not great with expressing what I'm thinking so please take a moment and read this posting written by another military wife called "What I Wish my Civilian Friends Knew: A Letter from a Military Wife" She talks about what a military spouse needs when his/her other half is away. I especially like the part where she says:
"You should know that I probably won’t ask for much. In fact, you should probably just adopt a “don’t ask, just tell” policy with me. I am coming to watch your kids Monday night. I am coming to mow your lawn next Tuesday. This will be much more effective with me than a blanket “Let me know if you need anything.” Like I said, blame it on Rosie the Riveter or this stubborn pride of mine, but I probably won’t ask you for the help I so desperately need. And if I do, know that it took A LOT for me to get to that point so never make me feel bad about it because I may not ask again. I know the air filter was really dirty and should have been cleaned months ago, but I’m just doing the best that I can, a day at a time."
Please remember that I will do my best to ask for help when I need it, and know that I will accept any help you can give. Most of all please pray for our family. That is what I'm asking am always asking for. Pray for our son to come into this world and grow big and strong like his daddy. Pray for Brett and others with him to be safe and focused on their jobs at hand. Pray that I will have the strength I need to get through each day. Know that I will be praying too.
I'm so grateful for the gospel and the knowledge it brings. I know that no matter what Brett and I will be together for eternity. The Lord is watching over each and every one of us. I know that Jesus Christ has atoned for us and that we will one day return to our Heavenly Father.
Friday, October 5, 2012
Monday, September 3, 2012
31 weeks - What??
Can't believe that I'm already 31 weeks along. Next thing I know I'll be holding my sweet little boy.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Yet another change
I was certainly correct when I had the feeling that this year was going to be the year of changes. However, this is possibly the best change ever!
We're having a BABY!!!!!
I found out on March 4th that I was pregnant, and Brett left home on March 3rd for a month long drill! Longest month of my life. I couldn't (wouldn't) tell him until he got home on March 31st. I wanted him to be the first to know, besides doctors, but that didn't work out to well. I started to get really sick and so my 2 bosses at work found out. I had a little freak out and so Bryan & Meredith Murdock found out because Bryan gave me a blessing. Then I couldn't keep it from my Mom, especially when I saw her the day I first heard the baby's heartbeat and got the first pictures. I also told Jessica Payne, well because it's Jessica.
I was really nervous to tell Brett, however. Before he left I hinted at having a baby and from his reaction I was just nervous. So that whole month I kept trying to think of ways to tell him and praying that he would somehow be prepared. I was able to record the heartbeat and I had the pictures. I also found a onesie online that you could customize, so I got the army fabric with the saying "Daddy's Little Soldier" on the front. Between those three I was thinking of putting a present together. On the day Brett came home I just sat him down and said "Guess what?" and sure enough he guessed it. My prayers were answered. So while he was processing the fact I showed him the other items. We are both very excited.
My due date is November 3rd, so that makes me at 20 weeks now. Half way through!! The first trimester was pretty rough. I definitely had morning sickness every morning and just felt awful the rest of the day. Also, SO TIRED! Never in my life have I been this tired and it's a different kind of tired. But then 2nd trimester hit and Hallelujah! I feel so much better, though I still get pretty tired by the end of the work day.
I bet you are wondering if we know the gender. Well, we are having a BOY!! So excited about this, especially Brett! :) Haven't decided on a name yet, but we will.
I'm getting bigger each day, though I'm still told that I don't look pregnant, but my goodness do I feel it. Hopefully I can get some pictures posted soon.
We're having a BABY!!!!!
I found out on March 4th that I was pregnant, and Brett left home on March 3rd for a month long drill! Longest month of my life. I couldn't (wouldn't) tell him until he got home on March 31st. I wanted him to be the first to know, besides doctors, but that didn't work out to well. I started to get really sick and so my 2 bosses at work found out. I had a little freak out and so Bryan & Meredith Murdock found out because Bryan gave me a blessing. Then I couldn't keep it from my Mom, especially when I saw her the day I first heard the baby's heartbeat and got the first pictures. I also told Jessica Payne, well because it's Jessica.
I was really nervous to tell Brett, however. Before he left I hinted at having a baby and from his reaction I was just nervous. So that whole month I kept trying to think of ways to tell him and praying that he would somehow be prepared. I was able to record the heartbeat and I had the pictures. I also found a onesie online that you could customize, so I got the army fabric with the saying "Daddy's Little Soldier" on the front. Between those three I was thinking of putting a present together. On the day Brett came home I just sat him down and said "Guess what?" and sure enough he guessed it. My prayers were answered. So while he was processing the fact I showed him the other items. We are both very excited.
My due date is November 3rd, so that makes me at 20 weeks now. Half way through!! The first trimester was pretty rough. I definitely had morning sickness every morning and just felt awful the rest of the day. Also, SO TIRED! Never in my life have I been this tired and it's a different kind of tired. But then 2nd trimester hit and Hallelujah! I feel so much better, though I still get pretty tired by the end of the work day.
I bet you are wondering if we know the gender. Well, we are having a BOY!! So excited about this, especially Brett! :) Haven't decided on a name yet, but we will.
I'm getting bigger each day, though I'm still told that I don't look pregnant, but my goodness do I feel it. Hopefully I can get some pictures posted soon.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Year of Changes and It's only March
First change since the last post, I'm 27 aaaahhhhhhh!!!!!! I had a good birthday spending it with my love and a few friends.
Next is today is our 4th Anniversary!!!!! Time sure does fly when you are having fun! Unfortunately Brett is gone all month at drill :( That means he has missed 2 years in a row. Gotta love the Army ;) I'm so grateful to be his wife and I couldn't be any more happier.
Other changes... Well, Brett and I got the changes we were looking for in our professional lives. For me I now have my own office, WHOOP!!!! Can not be more excited about this. My last officemate was extremely difficult to get along with. I also had some duty changes as well. Before I was doing accounts payable, 1/2 of payroll (i.e. Biweekly), human resources, and inventory. The changes are that now I do not do accounts payable and handle all of payroll (i.e. Monthly AND Biweekly which is about 400 people). I'm totally loving it.
As for Brett, turns out he is not leaving his reserves unit just yet. During his drill in February his unit announced they are going on deployment at the end of the year to Afghanistan. You guessed, we are going through our first deployment!!!! What am I going to do while he's gone, you ask? Well, I'm stickin around B/CS. Why move when I have a good home, job, and support system in the area? Also, my parents and Jones/Johnson family are just 2-3 hours north and my brothers are 1-1.5 hours south.
So the next several months we are going to be focusing on getting ready (as much as one can) for the big "D", as my best friend Jessica Payne puts it. :)
Next is today is our 4th Anniversary!!!!! Time sure does fly when you are having fun! Unfortunately Brett is gone all month at drill :( That means he has missed 2 years in a row. Gotta love the Army ;) I'm so grateful to be his wife and I couldn't be any more happier.
Other changes... Well, Brett and I got the changes we were looking for in our professional lives. For me I now have my own office, WHOOP!!!! Can not be more excited about this. My last officemate was extremely difficult to get along with. I also had some duty changes as well. Before I was doing accounts payable, 1/2 of payroll (i.e. Biweekly), human resources, and inventory. The changes are that now I do not do accounts payable and handle all of payroll (i.e. Monthly AND Biweekly which is about 400 people). I'm totally loving it.
As for Brett, turns out he is not leaving his reserves unit just yet. During his drill in February his unit announced they are going on deployment at the end of the year to Afghanistan. You guessed, we are going through our first deployment!!!! What am I going to do while he's gone, you ask? Well, I'm stickin around B/CS. Why move when I have a good home, job, and support system in the area? Also, my parents and Jones/Johnson family are just 2-3 hours north and my brothers are 1-1.5 hours south.
So the next several months we are going to be focusing on getting ready (as much as one can) for the big "D", as my best friend Jessica Payne puts it. :)
Monday, January 2, 2012
2012 - Already?!?!
First off, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
I was just looking at the number of posts I have done on this blog: 2009 - 17, 2010 - 15, and 2011 - 3! ONLY THREE, really?!?! I wonder why, oh I know 2011 wasn't that good of a year for us. Yes, Brett came home after 7 months of being gone at training and we got a new nephew, but I think those were the highlights of the year. Not much else has changed for us. I still work in the Math department at A&M, and Brett is still Grocery Manager at Kroger. BORING!! There have been changes and events at both our jobs that have made life pretty miserable. We both are just so tired of the monotonous life we stumbled into. I even started rearranging the house and throwing out a bunch of stuff because I'm sick of living in the same cluttered mess in such a small place. It's still a work in progress, but that's just it PROGRESS.
Now that it is 2012 I feel change coming. What kind of change? I do not know at this point. I'm mean, come on people it's only January 2nd (and my birthday is in 18 days, hehe). I do know that Brett will be leaving his Army Reserves Unit to go Active Duty. The paperwork is in and we are just waiting for the approval/assignments. There are rumors that this will go in effect this month. EEK!! What happens when he goes active you ask? I don't know. I'm sure there will be more training. We just don't know yet.
But guess what??
The Lord knows!!!
I do know that the Lord is watching over us, blessing us when needed, guiding us to do what's right, comforting us when needed. He knows what is in store for us and we can only rely on Him.
"Life's journey is not traveled on a freeway devoid of obstacles, pitfalls, and snares. Rather, it is a pathway marked by forks and turnings. Decisions are constantly before us. To make them wisely, courage is needed: the courage to say, 'No,' the courage to say, 'Yes.' Decisions do determine destiny.
The call for courage comes constantly to each of us. It has ever been so, and so shall it ever be." - Thomas S. Monson
I was just looking at the number of posts I have done on this blog: 2009 - 17, 2010 - 15, and 2011 - 3! ONLY THREE, really?!?! I wonder why, oh I know 2011 wasn't that good of a year for us. Yes, Brett came home after 7 months of being gone at training and we got a new nephew, but I think those were the highlights of the year. Not much else has changed for us. I still work in the Math department at A&M, and Brett is still Grocery Manager at Kroger. BORING!! There have been changes and events at both our jobs that have made life pretty miserable. We both are just so tired of the monotonous life we stumbled into. I even started rearranging the house and throwing out a bunch of stuff because I'm sick of living in the same cluttered mess in such a small place. It's still a work in progress, but that's just it PROGRESS.
Now that it is 2012 I feel change coming. What kind of change? I do not know at this point. I'm mean, come on people it's only January 2nd (and my birthday is in 18 days, hehe). I do know that Brett will be leaving his Army Reserves Unit to go Active Duty. The paperwork is in and we are just waiting for the approval/assignments. There are rumors that this will go in effect this month. EEK!! What happens when he goes active you ask? I don't know. I'm sure there will be more training. We just don't know yet.
But guess what??
The Lord knows!!!
I do know that the Lord is watching over us, blessing us when needed, guiding us to do what's right, comforting us when needed. He knows what is in store for us and we can only rely on Him.
"Life's journey is not traveled on a freeway devoid of obstacles, pitfalls, and snares. Rather, it is a pathway marked by forks and turnings. Decisions are constantly before us. To make them wisely, courage is needed: the courage to say, 'No,' the courage to say, 'Yes.' Decisions do determine destiny.
The call for courage comes constantly to each of us. It has ever been so, and so shall it ever be." - Thomas S. Monson
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Jeff's Tree
On Saturday I was visiting Mom & Dad. I met Mom at her studio and was there for a couple of hours. I decided to head home in order to watch the Aggie game and Mom would follow when she was done. During my drive I started thinking about Jeff and realized that I hadn't been by his tree at the high school in a long time. So I decided to swing by, plus I wanted to see the new highway that is now the road the school is on. Goodbye Kirby Rd, hello HWY 190. I also wanted to see how drained the lake was around Miller Rd and 66. By the way, the highway is huge and I had a hard time comprehending how different it looks. Also, the lake around Miller looks low, but normal. The lake around 66 however is a green pasture on the north side and what looks like a small pond on the south side. You can see the entire old 66 road and can walk it completely. It's crazy!!
Well, upon my arrival at the school there were some kids and adults standing around the area of Jeff's tree. I walk up and the adults were curious as to who I was and seem hesitant that some stranger just walks up to them. Well, I proceed to inform while pointing to the tree that it was planted for Jeff Blackhurst who is my brother. Come to find out these kids and adults were cleaning up the area, planting new flowers, and put down new mulch for an Eagle Scout project. The young man is Zach, didn't catch his last name, and he is a senior at Rowlett in the band who thought the area needed a makeover. Mom and Dad knew that this project was in the works, but didn't know when it would happen. Fortunately the Spirit prompted me to stop by and made the project for Zach even more meaningful. I took a few pictures and wish I got a picture of Zach. His mom got one of the two of us. I will see if I can get a copy.
Well, upon my arrival at the school there were some kids and adults standing around the area of Jeff's tree. I walk up and the adults were curious as to who I was and seem hesitant that some stranger just walks up to them. Well, I proceed to inform while pointing to the tree that it was planted for Jeff Blackhurst who is my brother. Come to find out these kids and adults were cleaning up the area, planting new flowers, and put down new mulch for an Eagle Scout project. The young man is Zach, didn't catch his last name, and he is a senior at Rowlett in the band who thought the area needed a makeover. Mom and Dad knew that this project was in the works, but didn't know when it would happen. Fortunately the Spirit prompted me to stop by and made the project for Zach even more meaningful. I took a few pictures and wish I got a picture of Zach. His mom got one of the two of us. I will see if I can get a copy.
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